Wednesday, June 27, 2012

2 week waits suck...

I finally decided to jump on the infertility blog bandwagon...I have been reading blogs for years now, actually signed up for one 3 years ago but never got around to doing anything with it. Now I feel like I need the support that this community offers as I'm feeling more and more alone as the token infertile in my group of friends, at work, in my family etc.

So I just had my second IUI on Friday. Again, T's numbers were "exceptional"...134 million after wash...seriously, can't one of them find an egg? I'm scared that I might have ovulated the night before the IUI though as I was having tons of cramping on both sides. Hopefully it was just the follicles stretching but who knows. The lack of monitoring for Clomid cycles bothers me but at the same time its nice to save money as I have a feeling we're headed to IVF.

I want to stay positive about this whole thing but its so hard. There are days where I'm sitting at my desk and a wave of grief washes over me as I watch families coming into the clinic past my office window. Will I ever get to bring my child in for immunizations? Will I ever get to come here for help with breastfeeding? How I ended up in the worst job possible for an infertile, I'll never know but I still love it. Its just hard. Well, on to making dinner to get my mind off this stuff!