Sunday, December 30, 2012

Happy New Year and a Facebook Fail...

Just got back from seeing Les Miserables...I thought is was very well done. Definitely go see it! Only cried once, which I thought was impressive considering the amount of sadness in that movie! Bring tissue if you go!

In other news, my aunt announced my pregnancy on Facebook today. Yes, you read that right, MY AUNT. She basically wrote this long status about how she was so happy for her niece and husband (writing our names) who are expecting twins at the end of June! She also went into detail about how I have been having some complications and how everyone in the family is so excited for when the babies arrive. UGH! I was likely NEVER going to put anything on Facebook because, having lived through years of pregnancy announcements and sonogram profile pictures, I never wanted to cause anyone else to feel the pain that I felt. Luckily my mom and my uncle saw the status this morning and freaked out...beginning a bit of a telephone family meeting among the uncles/aunts (we have a large family) about what should be done. Finally my uncle called the offending aunt and told her to take the status down. As one of my other aunts said "I don't want her announcing OUR kid's pregnancies on Facebook! She has to learn!" I panicked when I saw the status at first but then figured "what's done is done"...I wasn't ready to start a battle but I'm glad my mom and uncle took it upon themselves to fight for me! How entirely inappropriate. She is famous for not thinking before she speaks and Facebook makes it worse! I have no idea who saw the status (hopefully mostly just family members who already knew) but at least one person (friend of my aunt's who I've met once) sent me a private message congratulating me. Sheesh! At least she hadn't "tagged" me in the status, otherwise everyone I am friends with on Facebook would now know. I definitely am not ready for that! Stupid Facebook. OK, I'll stop ranting now.

I can't believe that tomorrow is the last day of 2012. Crazy. My brother and sister-in-law are going to come over for the evening and we are just going to have a very low-key New Years. If it was up to T we would do nothing and just go to bed early (he doesn't see the point of New Years!) but I convinced him that having J and N over would be fun. Crazy to think back to one year ago. At that point we had seen the RE but the only plan was to get my septum surgery done. They figured that would solve our fertility problems since every other test on both of us had come back normal. I was so certain that after that surgery on January 25th, I would be pregnant in no time. Little did I know that at the end of 2012 I would have been through 3 IUIs and an IVF and end the year pregnant with twins. Wow, how things can change in a year.

Well, from our house to yours, I wish you all a very HAPPY and FERTILE 2013!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Merry Christmas!

Sorry for my long absences from blogging...I'm finding this "being infertile but pregnant" blogging while so many of you are still waiting kind of difficult. I don't want to go on and on about my pregnancy but at the same time, I know those of you who are still reading are reading with the knowledge that I am pregnant but still keep coming back! Kind of a delicate balance. I most definitely don't want to be seen as a "born-again fertile". I still gaze longingly at those happy pregnant women with not a care in the world. Why can't it be so easy for everyone? I just don't get it. Why do all of us have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars and put our bodies through hell to get something that others get for free. It will never make sense.

One thing I can say is that THE BLEEDING HAS STOPPED! Friday afternoon I all of a sudden realized that there had been zero blood all day...while every day before that since 7 weeks 5 days, I have had at least some brown spotting. I am hoping that the ultrasound on Friday will show that the SCH is long gone and I won't need to think about it any more. Now that it has only been 3 days without blood, I am still super nervous each time I wipe but so far so good.

Yesterday was a monumental day. I went shopping for maternity clothes. I walked into a local maternity store and kind of froze, feeling like a fraud and pretty overwhelmed. Damn you infertility for making me feel that way on a day that should be exciting! Luckily there was a very nice older sales-lady who came and rescued me. I managed to blurt out "I'm almost 14 weeks with twins"...and she smiled and said "and you're needing some new clothes!" She was great at explaining what I'll need and made the experience a lot less overwhelming than it could have been. I got 2 pairs of jeans and several t-shirts and sweaters. Should get me through for a little while until I can get down across the border for some cheaper shopping in the States. Still can't believe that I am actually the owner of maternity clothes.

I also got to tell my favorite aunt about the pregnancy yesterday which was fun. She makes homemade Christmas stockings for each new member of the family (so far only spouses, as I'm the first of my cousins to get pregnant on my dad's side) so I told her by telling her she better get started on 2 stockings for next year! She is so thrilled for us. On Christmas Day I get to tell my mom's side of the family including my grandma, who is turning 90 soon. She is the only grandparent that T and I have, the rest have passed away. I am so excited because for a long time, in the trenches of infertility, I didn't think she'd live to see us have kids. She is pretty fragile but totally with-it mentally. Can't wait to get pictures of her with our babies!

Well, I am wishing all of you a lovely Christmas/Hanukkah/Holiday season! May 2013 be the year that all of our dreams come true, whatever that may look like. Thank you all for being such an amazing support through treatment and my scary first trimester. I couldn't have done it without you. Truly.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Relief! (with update)

I am THRILLED to let everyone know that we saw 2 healthy babies on my scan this morning. I was almost in tears as I walked into the room I was so scared but the tech immediately showed me the two little ones and their heartbeats. The NT scan took an hour total which was awesome because although she didn't show me the screen the whole time, I was able to see the babies flip around, wave and kick their legs. Absolutely amazing. After she did all the measurements T got to come in and she carefully went through each baby explaining what she was seeing. We got some great profile pictures. Finally I can relax (Ha! Who am I kidding!). Two issues that remain are, of course, the SCH which is sitting beside Baby B as well as 2 huge cysts on my right ovary that have been causing me quite a bit of pain over the past week or so (I thought it was pain related to the bleed...or an impending miscarriage...but ends up it was my ovary...I can feel the mass when I press on my tummy!). I'm not sure if they will want to do another scan before the normal 18-20 week anatomy one to keep an eye on those issues or not. I feel like a bit of a fool for being so worried but about 2 weeks ago I passed a clot that I swear looked like it would be the size of one of the babies. I could not get that image of the clot out of my head, even though logically I knew that it likely wasn't...I think all the stress of the bleeding and pain kind of made me go a little crazy!

Now I can focus on Christmas! After our scan T and I headed across the border to do a bit of grocery and Christmas shopping. UGH! I hate malls at Christmas! I need to come up with a way to get all my shopping done much earlier but every year it just doesn't happen!

UPDATE: Just got a call from my midwife. I'm to get another scan in 2-3 weeks to monitor the bleed. Glad that they are taking it seriously. Please let the bleed shrink! Please please please!

Thursday, December 6, 2012


Hey everyone. Sorry I've been majorly missing in action since last week. I've had a rough week full of bleeding and some cramps. Next ultrasound is next Wednesday although I know I could get in earlier for one if I really wanted to (I'm too scared to find out what is going on...crazy, I know). I'll let you know how it all goes after the appointment next week. Hope you all are doing well. Crazy that next week (all going well) I will be 12 weeks. So hard to believe.