Thursday, October 4, 2012

Ben and Jerry...

Thank you all soooooooo much for your lovely, supportive comments yesterday. I was so shocked to get that fert report, it was a total blindside. Since we've started IF treatments we have constantly been told what a "good prognosis" we have...we are young, healthy, every test has come back normal....it was completely unexpected that we would have such terrible fertilization, despite using ICSI. I guess this gives us some answers as to why we haven't gotten pregnant after over 2 and a half years including lots of Clomid and 3 IUIs...clearly T's sperm and my eggs DO NOT get along! People have asked me why we are doing ICSI when T's sperm analysis results have always been excellent. I guess our RE had a suspicion that something was going wrong at the fertilization stage since despite my regular cycles, excellent hormone levels, ovulation every month and T's great results, we had never been pregnant. I guess he was right! So strange. I'm not sure what can be done from here...if there are other tests we can do to figure out what exactly is going wrong.

On the plus side...both embies are safe and sound back where they belong. Last night I barely slept at all because I was convinced that we would get a call this morning telling us that they both hadn't made it. When we left this morning for the hour drive back into Vancouver I looked at T and said "one better still be growing or I'll be pissed that they made us make this drive in just for bad news!" Sure enough both were still growing...one a better quality than the other but hey, I'm just glad they were both still alive! Our main RE was luckily the doc doing transfers today so we got to chat with him a bit about what might have happened. I also talked to him on the phone yesterday because I sent him a WTF email after getting the fert report and he called me as soon as he got the email. He is such a good doctor. We feel really lucky to have him. He really is still hopeful for us and at this point, that's what we have to be too. T is extremely discouraged and angry right now (I think the whole time we have assumed it was me with the issues- due to my septum and polyp and his results always being top-notch- but now it's looking like it very well could be him and he's upset). I hope he snaps out of it because I need all the positive energy around me right now that I can get!

So...we've nicknamed these embies "Ben and Jerry" since we are both ice-cream-aholics. Let's hope they decide to stick around!


21 comments:

  1. Just thought you could stand to hear a success story. This was several years ago, but my husband's cousin went forward with IVF after she had had several miscarriages. They retrieved 18 eggs and all but one shattered (I assume it was the embryo that shattered). They transferred that one good one and it stuck.

    Just remember that all you need is one good one. Good luck!

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    1. I've been googling lots of success stories so I'm in a bit better head space now. Thanks for the story!

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  2. Sending positive vibes! I hope this is it for you!

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  3. I was holding my breath for this update. Glad to read that Ben and Jerry are where they belong. Sending lots of positive vibes your way! If you ever feel like hanging out in Vancouver and meet up for a coffee let me know. Seems like we are living much closer than we think.

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    1. Yay for a fellow Vancouverite! (Well, I'm a Langley-ite but whatever)

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  4. You are right, you need all the positive vibes you can get right now!! I am sending you some from Cancun, and hoping the best for both your embryos :)

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    1. If you could send some Cancun weather along with the vibes, that would be much appreciated! Good luck getting your cycle going!

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  5. I love the names! Glad Ben and Jerry are safe and sound! Sending many positive vibes!!

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    1. Thanks for the vibes! I need them!

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  6. Fingers tightly crossed. Mmm, Chubby Hubby. I love their names! Good luck keeping sane during the 2ww!

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    1. Oh yes...keeping sane for the next 2 weeks...this is NOT going to be easy!

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  7. Glad to hear ben and jerry are safe and sound! Now they need to settle in for the long haul! Fingers crossed very tightly!!

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    1. Yes, hopefully they find my uterus quite favorable and are currently arguing about whether one or two should settle in...typical siblings...

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  8. They are snuggling right in! Sending you lots of good thoughts!

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    1. Thank you thank you! Appreciate it!

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  9. These are it. THESE ARE IT.

    On the offffff chance that you in any way need to have a later discussion about fertilization - email me, I'm now an expert.

    But that is a totally empty thing of me to say because these are IT.

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    1. Sounds great (if I need it)...I will totally email you.

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  10. Aww the kids are adorable! Have no fear, 2 day transfers are the best! Good luck lady! :)

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    1. Oh how I hope I can follow in your footsteps (besides the scary bleeding of course)!

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  11. I hope you are able to get some good answers as to why you had such a low fertilization report. And I'm sorry that your hubby is so down on himself. Hopefully, there will be some good meds available for him to take to help his swimmers - if in fact they are what's wrong. Sending lots of prayers your way that your two lovely embryos grow big and strong and that this is THE cycle!

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