Ben and Jerry...

Thank you all soooooooo much for your lovely, supportive comments yesterday. I was so shocked to get that fert report, it was a total blindside. Since we've started IF treatments we have constantly been told what a "good prognosis" we have...we are young, healthy, every test has come back normal....it was completely unexpected that we would have such terrible fertilization, despite using ICSI. I guess this gives us some answers as to why we haven't gotten pregnant after over 2 and a half years including lots of Clomid and 3 IUIs...clearly T's sperm and my eggs DO NOT get along! People have asked me why we are doing ICSI when T's sperm analysis results have always been excellent. I guess our RE had a suspicion that something was going wrong at the fertilization stage since despite my regular cycles, excellent hormone levels, ovulation every month and T's great results, we had never been pregnant. I guess he was right! So strange. I'm not sure what can be done from here...if there are other tests we can do to figure out what exactly is going wrong.

On the plus side...both embies are safe and sound back where they belong. Last night I barely slept at all because I was convinced that we would get a call this morning telling us that they both hadn't made it. When we left this morning for the hour drive back into Vancouver I looked at T and said "one better still be growing or I'll be pissed that they made us make this drive in just for bad news!" Sure enough both were still growing...one a better quality than the other but hey, I'm just glad they were both still alive! Our main RE was luckily the doc doing transfers today so we got to chat with him a bit about what might have happened. I also talked to him on the phone yesterday because I sent him a WTF email after getting the fert report and he called me as soon as he got the email. He is such a good doctor. We feel really lucky to have him. He really is still hopeful for us and at this point, that's what we have to be too. T is extremely discouraged and angry right now (I think the whole time we have assumed it was me with the issues- due to my septum and polyp and his results always being top-notch- but now it's looking like it very well could be him and he's upset). I hope he snaps out of it because I need all the positive energy around me right now that I can get!

So...we've nicknamed these embies "Ben and Jerry" since we are both ice-cream-aholics. Let's hope they decide to stick around!