I'm trying to decide who we will tell about the IVF. At this point my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, my best friend and a few close work friends know. We haven't even told T's parents yet although they knew we were doing the IUI's. I struggle with it because on one hand, I like people to know and understand what we are going through but I also don't want everyone constantly asking me how we are doing and when things are starting. I'm also concerned that IVF is not a "legitimate illness" that I can take sick time off for. I don't have enough vacation time to use and really, it is medical procedures so why shouldn't I be able to take "sick time" for them? Dr. N told me to take a week off after the retrieval to recover and be available for a 5 day transfer plus a few days to relax after that. Makes sense to me! I'm not sure I will tell my supervisor and then just get a note from my family doctor saying that I need the time off. Although I'm sure she would be totally supportive, it's the manager above her that could make my life difficult if she finds out. Kind of a dilemma as up until now I've been open with my supervisor about all of this. I just don't want to get screwed over and end up on un-paid leave when I have tons of paid sick hours I could use. I guess I have a bit of time to figure it out!
We went to visit my grandma yesterday (she is the only surviving grandparent between T and I!) and it was so great. She lives about an hour from us so I don't see her too much although I really should make a point of going out there more. She is such a sweet and generous woman. It makes me sad to think that there is a strong possibility that she will not be alive by the time we have a baby as her health is failing. I am sad that our child(ren) will likely never know her. Some of my best memories are from at her farm when I was young, playing in the barn, walking in the forest behind her property and eating her delicious baking. We haven't told her of our struggles as she gets really emotional these days but I'm guessing she suspects that we are having trouble conceiving. Man oh man I hope this IVF works! I'd just love to have one picture of her holding our baby!
On a more positive note, I had my TSH and Prolactin levels drawn again as they were "borderline" last time and this time they are completely normal. Yeah! One less thing to worry about.
I took vacation because I was trying to not use up my FMLA (saving it up for maternity leave) but had I wanted to use sick time I would have needed to get a doctors note. Not sure how it works in Canada though.
ReplyDeleteYes, I will likely need a doctor's note, which shouldn't be a problem. I have 350 hours of paid sick time that I can use so I might as well take advantage of it since I clearly never call in sick (we accumulate paid sick time in my job at about 10 hours a month).
DeleteHi - new reader. I am also about to start the IVF process and have been wrestling with who to tell. I think I have decided to tell my boss since it is so many days off, but the idea makes me nervous. Wishing you lots of luck with this cycle!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'll be checking out your blog as well. Thanks for commenting, it is such a good feeling to get comments! It looks like you'll be a month or so ahead of us with your IVF. I'll be cheering you on!
DeleteI struggled (and still do struggle) with who to tell and not tell about our IVF also. Basically, I finally decided to tell my close girlfriends, then my two sisters, then a couple more friends and family members once I started my blog. So a few select people know about my blog but I've asked them not to share it with others (yet). I might be ready to share it with everyone at some point but I'm not there yet. I felt so alone before I started my blog and shared it with people I know and now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Also, I wanted to be able to talk about what I'm going through with the people who are close to me without it being uncomfortable...so this is my way of kicking the big white elephant out of the room.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your decision!
Thanks for your comment! I haven't told anyone about my blog...I'm not sure if I will. I kinda feel like it's my space to vent and the only people reading it are likely all in the same boat as me. Makes me feel like I can be more honest than if people in my real life know about it. I might end up censoring and I don't want to do that. You do make a good point though about the benefits of sharing your blog. It would definitely mean less time spent explaining what is going on to people!
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